Back to Article index To print this page, click on the Print icon in your browser.    Why Weight? Love Your Body, Love Yourself   Too many people are focused on (and stuck on) losing weight. We know all the right things to do – less fat, more fruits and vegetables, exercise, drink more water – still the pounds stay on.   What's wrong?   It's probably not something "wrong." It's more likely a missing focus. If weight loss is your goal, the scale is not your friend. What would happen if you shifted your focus to health and balance instead of weight?   I'm not an expert in diet, nutrition or exercise. I've taken no classes and have no degree in physical health and well being. I do have an advanced degree from the School of Life, though. I've been the case study in my own process. I've weighed from 130 to 203 pounds. (I'm five feet, five inches tall and neither of these extremes was right for me.) I've used every diet and weight-loss product I've heard of: liquid protein, grapefruit, vinegar and lecithin, all carbs, low carbs, no carbs, fasting, pills, rice diets, soup diets. You name it and I've probably done it. They're all fads.   One of my problems was I got caught up in somebody else's image of what my body should look like. Advertisers are masters at creating unrealistic body images and we, being the good consumers we are, buy what they're selling. The truth about physical appearance is most of us will never look like the models. For the American woman, the average dress size is fourteen tp sixteen. Hardly the cover girl look.   There is no easy answer to our perceived problem of carrying too much weight. The first shift we need to make, though, is to stop fantasizing about being model-thin. Right now, you are who you are and your body is what it is. That's it. Learn to love it now, no matter how many extra pounds you carry.   An exercise I used (under duress I assure you) was a simple one. I offer it to you in the same spirit it was offered to me:   Stand in front of a mirror with no clothes on. Scan your body, stopping at each part. Appreciate each part, say a little prayer of gratitude for what your body's parts do for you and then love them all. (It took me years before I could move past my eyes to the rest of me. Give yourself time.)   That's not enough, though, for getting to a healthy balance point in your body. Loving yourself and your body is just a piece of it. There are three more pieces to look at for getting to where you want to be in your body.   1. Healthy Habits. You know these. Take vitamins. Eat a balanced meal. Don't skip any food group. Practice moderation in all eating instead. Move more. They all make sense, of course. Including them in your life is more of a challenge. Start by choosing one habit to begin including now. Keep at it till it's a habit, then add the next one. One at a time. Set yourself up to win this game.   2. Triggers. Why do you eat? Begin noticing when you grab for that bag of chips or cookies. What's happening in your life in that moment to make you reach? Are you tired? Afraid? Depressed? Bored? These emotional triggers to eating are ones you want to notice and learn to change. Food is for nourishment (and enjoyment). Pay attention to why you eat. If you eat for reasons other than hunger, get whatever help and support you need to change that response. As you become more aware, you can choose a different behavior to calm your emotional upheaval: take a walk; call a friend; make some tea.   3. Psychic and Emotional Energy. Again, not being an expert, I share this from personal experience and that of many clients and friends. When nothing else seems to be working – eating, exercise – maybe there's something else. If you are fearful in your life or feel threatened in some way, your body will go into a kind-of survival mode. When you don't eat enough, your body stores fat for the future and metabolism slows. It's a protective response. Feeling emotionally or psychologically threatened can trigger the same physiological response. For me, when I chose to marry, my body kicked into survival mode in response to my perception of giving up my independence and control of my life. I didn't get to this learning on my own, though. I worked with a number of professionals including a nutritionist, a chiropractor trained in energy work and an intuitive healer. It is helpful, almost necessary, to work with somebody who has the skills you don't, to get the information you need about your own body.   There is no quick way to lose weight permanently. You're a complicated machine needing attention, tune-ups and, sometimes, new parts. Your computer brain sometimes needs reprogramming. The best thing you can do for yourself and your body is to stop looking at the scale and stop tormenting yourself. Look to your heart and soul instead. Pay attention to your personal truth and learn to love yourself no matter what. Most of us will never be a size four. So what! Discover what's right for you and live your life based on that. If natural body balance for you is size fourteen, fine. If it's bigger or smaller, that's perfect. When you pay attention to YOU and love yourself, things outside you lose their importance. Pay more attention to YOU and lots less to what you think you're supposed to look like. It will change your life.     © Copyright June, 2000. Laura Hess, MCC 702.252.3657