Back to Article index To print this page, click on the Print icon in your browser.    Subtract From Your Life to Make it Better   What do you have too much of in your life that's causing you to feel unproductive, taken advantage of or overwhelmed? Do people disappoint you? Are there people you hope you never meet on the street? Are you doing things you don't really want to do? Are you over committed? One or all of these may ring true for you. Perhaps you have a different scenario that is pressing right now. Whatever is true for you, there is another way.   Evaluating what's working or not working for you (or where you are losing a lot of energy) is the place to start changing your life. Two areas to look at when evaluating your life are: 1) What do you have too much of? What's blocking you from getting what you want? What do you want to subtract from your life? 2) What don't you have enough of? What's missing for your life to flow? What do you want to add to your life? The intent is to clearly identify what's in the way or what's missing for your life to flow smoothly.   As a coach, my job is to support my clients as they create and live the life they want. Often, this involves focusing on what needs to be subtracted from - or added to - their life. You can do this for yourself right now. Think of one place you're struggling, feeling frustrated, angry or lost. What is the situation? Be brutally honest with yourself; the process doesn't work if you choose to hide from the truth. (This process is quicker when you have another person to talk with who is totally objective and honest with you. An outsider always sees from a different perspective.) Identify what's missing for you or what you need more of. Decide what you're willing to change to have a more struggle-free and stress-free life. Make the changes.   Here are ten things coaches work with clients on to subtract from their lives. Not every one applies to every person or situation. As you read them, be open to where each item may be impacting your life.   1. False Assumptions. Most of us base our goals and our thinking on false assumptions. Your willingness to look at your assumptions and let go of false ones (especially about other people) will attract people to you who are supportive and nurturing.   2. Inaccurate Information. We live in an age of information. News and data get old fast. Your decisions are better when you make them based on current information.   3. Incompletions. These are unresolved issues. Imagine them as barnacles on the hull of a ship. The ship is you. The barnacles attract other barnacles and slow you down. Scraping the hull, eliminating the barnacles, eliminating incompletions in your life, allows you to move ahead faster and with less effort.   4. Addictions and Compulsions. There are all kinds of addictions: alcohol, food, sex, gambling and more. A client who has an addiction that is not being addressed is not coachable. This client needs a therapist or twelve-step group before coaching can be of benefit.   5. Threats. Real or perceived, threats produce fear. While fear is difficult to control, threats can be more easily managed. Identify where the threat is coming from, remove it and set up a system to prevent the threat from reappearing. Life doesn't have to be a journey fraught with fear.   6. Expectations. Expectations result when you focus attention outside yourself and into the future. You set yourself up for disappointment and upset, feelings of shame or guilt when you buy-in to expectations. Instead, keep your focus on the present and what is occurring in the moment. You won't expect anything more than what already is.   7. Shoulds. When you use the word "should" you are usually either living through old tapes from your past, you're hiding because you really don't know what you want or you're automatically making somebody wrong. Make yourself a more powerful being - eliminate the word "should" from your vocabulary. Change it to "want." You'll notice a change immediately.   8. Personal Development Jargon. Using personal development jargon to describe how you are, who you are or what you're doing may indicate you got stuck at that place in your development. Be aware of the words you use that are jargon and change them to describe the truth about yourself.   9. Stress. Stress produces undesirable, potentially life-threatening, hormonal effects in your body. While it's not always easy, it's critical to your future well-being to eliminate stress from your life, whatever its form.   10. Needs. As human beings we all have needs. The question is, are your needs being met? When your needs are met, you spend less energy chasing after what's missing and a lot more energy enjoying your life.   Once you become aware of a block, you have a choice to change what you're doing or thinking to remove the block. Be open to possibility, be willing to be flexible and know that change is a process. Deciding to change doesn't make it so. You still need to give energy and effort to the change to make it reality. Trust you can do it - you can live your life exactly the way you want to - without stress or struggle.      © Copyright February, 1997. Laura Hess, MCC 702.252.3657