Back to Article index To print this page, click on the Print icon in your browser.    Standing on Solid Ground: Your Personal Foundation   What makes a great life possible? Having a solid base to stand on and live your life from. What does that mean?   Think about a building. What we see is not built until a solid foundation has been laid. Without the foundation, the building will fall. The same is true for you. If you are living your life with a weak foundation, chances are you're not happy. You wonder what you're doing wrong. You aren't surrounded by the kinds of people you really want in your life. Somehow, your life isn't working.   With my clients, I always begin by looking at their personal foundation. Most of us have spent little time (if any) really looking at the foundation we've built for ourselves. It's revealing to look at the ground you stand on and identify which of the cornerstones have been damaged, are missing or were never solid to begin with.   There are ten cornerstones. While we spend time focused on each specific area, none are exclusive of the others. (Even given that, as you embark on the adventure of strengthening your personal foundation, you will not be focusing your energy in all ten areas. Choose one or two at a time and set yourself up to win in the process and in your life.) Your personal foundation is an integrated system allowing you to be a whole, healthy, functioning being. I've talked about two cornerstones in previous writings: boundaries and standards. Here are the other eight:   1. Complete the Past. We all have memories and experiences we carry from our past. Some of those are negative and drain our energy. When something from your past is left unresolved it distracts you from focusing on the present. Most often, things left unresolved are the result of withheld communication - not saying you're sorry, not standing up for yourself when you don't like something. Make a list of the things you have not yet resolved or completed and start working down the list. The result will be freedom.   2. Restore Integrity. Being in integrity means you are in alignment with, and live, your personal truth. Most of us are out of integrity in at least one area of our life. Look at the truths in your life, identify where you are out of integrity with your truth and resolve it. You'll have more peace.   3. Get Your Needs Met. We all have needs. Few people know how to ask for what they need. Instead, they become frustrated and angry when needs are not met. What's missing for you? What do you need you're not getting? Identify four needs then find a way to get them met. ASK for what you need! You'll have more energy.   4. Stop Tolerating. What are the things in your life you continue to step over and ignore? What are you putting up with? How many of those things cost you energy - even a little bit? It may be a burnt out light bulb or piles of dirty laundry. Or it could be something a lot bigger like a relationship or your job. Whatever you tolerate in your life, big or small, drains your life energy. Eliminate your tolerations. You'll be happier.   5. Come From Positives. There's nothing nurturing about being around people who are negative. They drag you down. You are always at choice. Choose a different and better way to live. Life is good - live it that way. Start being enormously grateful for your life. You'll begin creating and attracting positive energy into your life.   6. Strengthen Family. Family, whether biological or chosen, are the people in your life that create a safety net around you. Strong families make it safe to take risks because they are supporting you. Family is where you are loved and are free to be yourself. Whether in your biological family or your family of choice, look at where things are working and where relationships are strained. Resolve your family issues. You'll get your needs met more easily.   7. Have a Strong Community. Having a strong community is a way to extend your family. Ideally, you'll want at least 100 people in your community. These are people you respect, enjoy being with and who reflect your values. With a strong community, you broaden your horizons and create a reserve in your life of supportive people you can share goals and dreams with. Community is both professional and personal. This is your network.   8. Re-Orient on Values. Values are the guiding principles of our lives and yet few of us are able to identify what our highest values are. We take them for granted and "float" through life. We set goals for ourselves that are out of alignment with our values and wonder why we don't achieve them. If you take the time to identify your top values and re-orient your life around them, you'll find life becomes simpler and your purpose clearer.   No matter where you start, it takes a lot of work to strengthen your personal foundation. My work with clients can take a year or more. . . . and when we get to the end of the path my clients have more energy and enthusiasm, more confidence in themselves and their choices and more love and nurturing around them. They experience a peace of mind that comes only from knowing themselves very well and from living their truth. The process requires total commitment and an understanding that as you grow and change, your life, and the people in it, will change. The process is not always easy and is often uncomfortable. The results are worth it. Imagine your life flowing effortlessly. It's possible!     © Copyright December, 1996. Laura Hess, MCC 702.252.3657