Back to Article index To print this page, click on the Print icon in your browser.   The Gift of Life   I just watched "Tuesdays With Morrie." What a story! I'd read the book a number of years ago and was certainly touched by it. Yet, somehow, seeing the movie with Jack Lemmon made the whole story more real and the lessons more powerful.   From this viewing, besides the lessons on love running through the entire story, I was struck by the piece on the "perfect day." Morrie's perfect day was filled with simple pleasures: a breakfast of sweet rolls; a swim; lunching with friends (only a few at a time) and having conversations with them; walking among the trees and hearing the birds; a dinner of great pasta and dancing - always dancing for Morrie.   Morrie lived his days, even before he began suffering from ALS (commonly known as Lou Gehrig's Disease), as if it was his last. He said what he felt. He loved deeply and passionately. He honored his personal wishes and respected the people in his life. All his days were perfect - any one could have been his last and he'd have no regrets about how he'd spent it.   I recently asked a friend to describe her perfect day. She couldn't come up with anything! I wasn't really surprised. As a coach, I've worked with many people over the years who are too busy living life for others they have no clue what's really important to them. In my own past I could even count myself among that group. My friend, like so many others, has spent her life - so far - making sure every one else is okay. She's seen her job as being the caretaker, the savior, the mother, the fixer . . . you name the role. What's missing is the connection to herself. She has never taken time to find out what she wants, what makes her happy. She's never taken time to be with herself, to know herself, to love and nurture herself.   I completely understand how frightening it can be to embark on a journey of self discovery. (Again, I've been there!) If we take a page from Morrie's life, we can see how living your life on your own terms is the only way to really embrace it, to be at peace with both life and yourself and to face your own mortality without regrets. The good news is it's not too late for any of us. No matter what your life has been like till now, you can choose differently beginning today.   Make a commitment to get to know yourself and to honor yourself. Practice self-loving behaviors. Bring more love into your life by sharing your love with others and being open to receiving love back. Find joy in simple pleasures.   There are many ways to change your life. Here are a couple of things you can do for yourself and your life:   1) Decide you're worth it! Just decide! You are! Decide you want to live each day as if it were your last. Decide you want to lay your head down to sleep at night with no regrets for the way you spent your time.   2) What are you doing in your life that's not for YOU? What don't you like that's part of your life now? Eliminate these things or look at how you might change them to fit them into your life in a more joyful, fun and honest way. 3) What do you want more of in your life? What's missing? What have you let go of for the sake of other people? Begin bringing those things back in. You don't have to do it all at once; one thing at a time works. Baby steps move you forward, too.   4) Draw a picture of your perfect day. Don't write about it. Draw it! Engage both sides of your brain. Be creative. Entice the child in you to play using colors, stickers, paint, colored paper and scissors, buttons, ribbons, all those craft supplies you used when you were young. This is for you so you can really know what your perfect day looks like. How you draw doesn't matter. What it looks like won't make any difference. It's a creative process to engage you in your life.   5) Include one self-loving act in every day. Massage, meditation, walking, sitting quietly, reading. There are things you love doing even if you've forgotten you love them.   The reality is none of us knows when our time here is going to end. What we have is the now! You've heard it before, "Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present." I don't promise the journey is easy. Simple to understand, yes. Easy, no! I also know, even with as much work as I've done on myself in my life and as happy as I am with what I've created, I am walking the path right next to you. As a result of having seen this movie, I've decided to make some changes of my own. I want to be able to go to sleep each night knowing if this had been my last day, it was perfect. . . . and I want the same for you.   ("Tuesdays With Morrie" was written by Mitch Albom and is a true story chronicling the life of Morrie Schwartz. Morrie was a professor at Brandeis University and, through Mitch, has gifted us with the "lessons for living" shared in the book's pages. If you've not yet read it, it is worth the investment.)      © Copyright February, 2000. Laura Hess, MCC 702.252.3657